| update of 2008 |
[21 Feb 2008|07:10pm] |
awww good old livejournal, I use to love this! Cant believe I forgot about it!
Well Im not gonna drag it out, compared to what I was like going from my last enter in 2005! things have changed just a bit I think!
I now live with my amazing boyfriend Sebastian, otherwise known as bassie or chockie cock. we live behind the plimmy in some lovley new flats on Charles street. I work at the local legend work base that is garlands! and also at my beloved silkos on mosh night fridays. I very rarely do drugs anymore, for the simple fact I have better things to spend my money on and strangely enough I have my head screwed on alot better. Life is a bit of a struggle Im not gonna lie so random trips to the pub, all day seshes and regular nights out are sadly, not regular. I would have money to do this however, because I now have my sensible head on permently I am paying off my over draft, loans and money to mam this year so next year I can hopefully spread my wings a bit. I dont have my lovley doggie darcy anymore unfortunatly due to circumstances I simply had no control of, she is however reholmes with a fellow greyhound lover and she now has lots of greyhound friends and a nice big garden to bolt about in, in all seriousness she does have a better quality of life, I do miss her tho.
Anyway I havent changed that much I still love all me punk and metal and all that, still a sneaky smoker and still look like a mosher down the street.
Becky is coming round tonight for a chat and some wine, I need to go to silks to ask pete and ann about making a myspace for saturday nights and getting ronnie to do some photography.
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| Back! |
[19 Feb 2008|11:26am] |
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Im back on livejournal, shall hopefully be posting regulary and catching up on recient posts from my mateys. Forgot how to use this like, need to change a few things, hope everyone is well x
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| Crack |
[31 Dec 2005|09:20am] |
*yawn*
eish, Im a bit tired like, its 20 past 9 on a Saturday morning, need some speed or summut.
Things have been all over latley, but arn't they always in my life, always some predicament, some unconclusive dilema, always slooning about something. Things have started to move on more of a plateau now tho, gone are the days of melancholy, up are the optimistic days of happy liberties. :-)
Well work has definetly setteled down already from the idiotic melee that was CHRISTMAS. I DID love Christmas, (well I still do) but i feel some what disheartened at the greedy corporations that suck people in and are ploy from this festive time, prior to my work in retail I was oblivious to this, now, well, it simply sickens me. Anyway, moving on. Im seeing Jimmy again which is pretty keen, hes a nice fella, we just watch tele and drink and have sex and stuff, its cool, Im more than complacent with this. I was so egar to just get a boyfriend and settle down but, I should justtake life as it comes, kind of take the bull by the horns, but dont break them. Me and Mama are getting on ok, having the spontanious disputes but its better than constant agro and when I say constant, I mean that hands down, so this is a thing thats gonna take time to heal. Most my mates seem happy at the moment which makes me happy, I say most, theres a couple Im concerned about, the loose cannons who can implode at any time; I say implode as the little mites don't tell anyone and they should, you know for one Gemma's always here. X
The only problem that is still some what brewing and being shaken up like a bottle of ginger beer is, well, beer itself. For some time now Ive been getting 'angry' to say the least when I have a drink. Now, most of you know Im not one of those people who can have a glass of wine or a sociable beer, I have to do the full monty and drink to fall down, I can't help it I honestly can't, it shounds shallow and pathetic but it is so smack bang true. Now, I did only get vicious with certain people, ironicly, the people closest to me, my Mam, Emma, Gary etc but now I'll take it out on anyone, dramatize things, just totally fly off the handle, but whats worse is that Im doing it more consistantly when I havent had a drink. This includes at my staff at work, family, mates and what have you and it is visible now, it happenes all to often, so, for the sake of myself (aka my fucking sanity) and more importantly for the sake of my friends Im definetly gonna try get it sorted in the new year, other than cutting down on the pop Im gonna try get some therapy for this, coz Im not eggagirating in the slighest when I say its that bad Im gonna lose people over this. Other than that, life is better than mediocre.
New years eve today then, goodbye 2005, its been a mess but Id rather be living than dead! Havent got a set plan for tonight, I would love to see all my good friends like but its highly unlikley, everyone will be spread out all over. ARRRR, I woudl have to get a swollen lip the night I want to look beautiful, thats it, NO MORE MOSH PITS EVER and Sarah-jane if you even try to provoke me in anyway I will beat yo arse bitch! ;-)
Oh yeah forgot to mention I got a new amp, a Marshall AVT 150, its fucking mint honestly and shes called Pauline.
Happy new year everyone, love you all honestly xxxxxxxx
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| Gemmas party, this Thursday, L:eos, 9pm :-) |
[13 Dec 2005|08:26pm] |
God Im in the worst predicament, proper, Im seeing someone on the sly, like proper secretly, I can't tell anyone but I wanna get out of it. I don't like it anymore, its scaring me.
Things have been ok latley, oh well actually no I had a massive fight with my mam and punched her, she was gonna get me done for assault etc etc. Other than that everythings been ok, got a mic stand today which is mint, getting a brand beast of an amp this Friday, dunno what yet Garys coming down with me and were just gonna try loads out, Im thinking of a fender or Marshall, mabey a Laney, they need to be suitable for gigs tho so a fender or marshall would be the ideal option for the budget Ive got. I think were going to see King Kong on Friday aswell which will be cool coz I really wanna see it. Im really looking forward to Thursday Im just scared people wont come and I'll look like a proper loser with no friends, Ive made alot of effort to try get people to come like so Im hoping people will turn up. Im taking shit loads of money out aswell to sort people out who are skint coz at the end of the day, as fucking cornball as it sounds I just want all my mates there and Im willing to splash out a bit, Im shit with money, I waste it, burn it, so its water off a ducks back for me.
Work is sucking dick hard, hating it, Ive been offered a security job after Christmas like, there will be a few going I think, got my eye on one, required 6 weeks training but Im definetly willing to take that on.
Feel ok latley, got a few problems but nothing I can't handle, just looking forward to Christmas and all the boozey doos and that :-)
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| Update for Warren piss head |
[28 Nov 2005|07:57pm] |
well Im going to update coz Lauren said she was interested in my life haha, suppose it is a bit cosmopolatain, for the simple fact Im always up shit streak or in some dilema or have got myself in yet another mess.
Well, works still smokes bone, after Christmas Im leaving and joining the police, not gonna be a copper just yet but gonna train to be a community warden then mabey be a police woman when Im a bit more benevolent and straight edge.
Ive give up on love, or lust, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, the way I see it is, I have so much love to give I really do and I know Im a swine and a binge drinking angsty dictating shamer, but I do have dignity and Im sick of people abusing that, aka just using me, coz in the past two years or so thats all thats been done and my vagina is not revolving door, I dont even masturbate now for christ sakes, ever. Thing is, I was trying to hard to find love, just wanted to settle down and kind of get out of the nightlife for a bit, coz alot of my best mates my age (mostly females) have done this, their relishing it and me well, Im just getting worse, metally I feel weak towards alcohol and my self confidence has gone down a rabbit hole. Physically, well I physically crave for alcohol now, I start breathing funny and gulp loads, anyone whos spoke to me latley will be able to tell you my voice is just ruined, it just sounds like a cheesegrator scraping up and down a blackboard, this is due to well, drinking obviously, also puking and coughing and what not. My skin is probably the worst tho, Im currently suffering from a fucking blister, well two fucking blisters that are INFECTED coz I burned it badly from sniffing poppers :| my skin is also really really red, particulary my cheeks and noes and to top it all off Ive got awful spots on my chin but mainly all over my forehead, it actually looks like acne. In conclusion to all this, I drink to get out of reality, to forget about everything, dosent everyone els do that? But its fucking brutalising me. I can see how it changes people now, coz, well, yeah Im a nice person but I have the worst fucking temper now and its back to square one on our household, its a living nightmare. I can't help it tho, I love drinking, in the space of time I do it I have such fun, I feel elated, its the the after affects, the repercussions, basicly every other waking minute of the day.
Hahaha see this is why I don't wrote in live journal, coz all I do is talk about the negatives in life and Im so cynical and angry and whatnot. But life is not all doom and gloom, here is more happier times.
Well, its nearlly Christmas and Im so fucking excited, I cant wait for all the parties and what not, EXPECHILLY MINE, I bought a nice little number for my doo, Im not gonna tell anyone what it is coz its so fucking mint, ordered it from America, its the sexiest thing ever and you know me, like to push the boat out, cross the boundries a bit, over step the mark.
Right by the way, on the subject of my party, Im making a couple of cds to take with all my faveroute songs on and Im proper bummin this Distillers song I discovered the other day called 'Rainbows muppet' or summut and I REALLY wanna put it on my cd but cant fucking find it on limewire anywhere, could anyone try find it on some music download for me and possibly send me it? I would be really fucking greatful, to the max :-)
Caught two shop lifters today, nicking meat, how predicatble, HOW SCRUFFY. Fucking tramps, didnt catch them either :@
I love the new 24 hour drinking laws, thats a good thing.
Day off tommorow, not gonna do very much, working 56 hours this week HARSH, think of the money? Well HAHA, i dont get paid any extra, and you know how much extra I SHOULD get? £65, fucking horrible company, I detest.
Anyway, the best thing in the world is my friends, so I hope everyone is doing good I do honestly, hoep your well AND REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY AT LEOS ON THURSDAY 15TH OF DECEMBER, will be a good laff. Love your faveroute Chav, Gemma x x x
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[01 Nov 2005|10:00pm] |
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R.I.P Best Mate, you were the best horse I ever saw since Ive been alive.
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[01 Nov 2005|09:30pm] |
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Ive decided to return to Live jorunal, not that anyone will care or be interestd in what I have to say, Im a bit of a nonechlant at the moment, I wighn loads, Im lovesick, cynical, misrable, bitchy and just moan in general. I hate my job now it makes me so depressed now, doing the same thing, day in day out, get treated like shit by the fat cats, put 110% in and get jack shit out of it, no apprichiation or no ounce of grattude. Im lovesick now coz Im sick of being single, it didnt bother me at all before but it does now coz Im just not happy now and I feel like theres a big void in my life, I do like somoone loads, I always like someone, but as always, in every situation, theres a fucking triangle and as I predicted he fucking likes someone els, which pisses me off and makes me angry coz Im a jelous little cunt. I suppose I can't complain about my social life, my mates are fucking awesome, Mike and Gary and that and Emmas starting to come out more which makes me over the moon, then theres all my other rockin mates, Maz, Shiv, Lauren, Danny, Beth etc, the people who I wanna see more of but kind of don't know how to go about it, like, I couldnt just spontaniously turn up at their houses, they all have their own lives.
Me and Mike played some songs last night, I was so happy, honeslty, I felt utterly jubilant that someone was adapting to the songs Id made, adding bits, harmonies and riffs, it was just a class feeling. Me and Kev went for a drink last night which was ace, talked lots about music and other stuff, sex, politics, people, nostalgia.
Im struggling for money at the moment, its becoming a bit of a problem coz Im trying to pay off my overdraft but I can't help but keen breaking into it. Well Ive decided, gonna get the other side of my lip done this week, go to Aruba then have a weekend off.
Things I must do soon: Take Amey out to leos coz shes a pretty cool chick for her age, quite smart, reminds me alot of me. Also, must go see Maz for a bit of drinking and kain her at arm wressling. Need to see Lauren aswell, havent seen her properly for a while and my Shivverely.
Must keep playing guitar, my fingers are fucked at the moment, skins really peeling.
Im not gonna say nomore coz Im moody and hate everything bye.
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[09 Oct 2005|03:06pm] |
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Now I know why I kept away from pills for so long; if you wanna get depressed, do pills, if you wanna fuck yourself up, do pills. I don't know why I do them, I never take them when Im sober so its not like I REALLY want to do them, its not worth it, a few hours of fun for days of downers? I feel malnurished, grotty, dirty, but worst of all, this is hard to explain, I don't know how to put it, but I KNOW if I hadn't of done them of Friday night I wouldnt be in the situation Im in now, where I believe something happened to me, something traumatising and if I go to the doctors and find out that my intuitions are right I don't know how Im gonna be able to live with myself. Im so anxious, beyond normallity, people know Im neurotic anyway but now, to the point I can't eat, can't sleep, can't function at all, can't even really speak about it, to anyone, suppose Im writing in here for a release. It helps in a way I suppose, writing it down, I don't know, I feel sick.
Ive finally decided to get an anger managment class sorted, even tho I know Im gonna hate it and I really don't want to do it, Im gonna have to, for the sake of my friends and family. Its common knowlage now that when Im pissed Im an absolout cunt, particulary to certain people, my best mates and when I DRIVE them from my house coz they cant stand to be around me thats when I know something is definetly wrong, but its gone beyond being just pissed now, even when Im sober Im just horrible, I shout all the time, snap, bite, kick off, expechilly with my Mam and brother and they just don't wanna be around me, the'll sit in the other room with their cups of tea watching emmerdale and I'll sit in here on my own. Theres no affection, no physical or mental contact at all, its like were in two different worlds, I can't remember the last time I hugged or kissed my Mam. I don't know wheather this is all out of lonleyness, but latley, like, the past month, Ive felt abnormally alone, I usally just hang around with lads now and although I love them to bits and have opened up to a couple of them, theres still things I won't go into, I don't know. I love them so much tho, expechilly the likes of Reevo Mike and Gary, I feel really close to Reevo and Mike, like I could tell them everythiung sometimes, we get on so well and they really look after me, then theres Gary, well hes just lovley and the way he puts up with me is unbelivable, Im such an unessecary bitch to him sometimes and he always forgives me, I just love them all, but theres definetly a void in my life now. I think its because I was happy the other week, then that just dissolved into nothing. I just feel ill, Im just really unhappy at the moment and I know Im being stubborn and people are right when their telling me to 'sort my act out' and 'get a grip' so thats exactly what Im gonna have to do.
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[13 Sep 2005|04:04pm] |
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Oh yeah, I have a myspace now: www.myspace.com/roosterbooster.
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[13 Sep 2005|01:02am] |
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Tommorow Im gonna lay in bed all day til Jimmy gets back from Newcastle, then were gonna get drunk and fuck. Hes one of the coolest, beautest, funniest, sarcastic, most talanted boys I know, infact hes THE coolest, and hes my fella. I just fucking love being around him, we don't even have to be doing anything productive, just watching the tele or something, but it makes me really happy, just being with him in general. Weve been mishing alot latley, going to his mams, mine, down boro, down redcar, leos, cinema etc. Saw Willy Wonka last night, was fucking ace, the film yeah, but what I ment was Jonny Depp he suited the part TO A TEA, he was truely amazing, like astonishingly, I could sit and watch his charactor all day, I seriously would advise people to go see it, if not for the film, then to watch a tremendous actor playing a genious part.
So tired.
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[31 Aug 2005|11:22pm] |
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God Leeds opened my eyes didn't it? Meeting new people, seeing bands, doing fucked up CRAZY SHIT, I havent done any of that for ages, Im so confined and wrapped up in little redcar, its sick. Anyway, Ive decided to turn over a new leaf and DEFINETLY get out more, which means more trips to Boro, more gigs, more socialising and losing my virginity to other venues in other big cities. So, first things first, I WAS gonna head down to Leos this Friday but, what the fuck? Im gonna break my prevalent tradition and head to Sumo at the cornerhouse, don't have a clue who Im gonna go with like, I have an aching lack of close female friends at the moment, I mean proper close, like, Ive usally had a best friend or a couple of best girl mates who I would usally see everyday or every otherday, but thats strangly decayed, well its not strange, its pretty simple, they'v all got boyfriends.........or girlfriends, so, well, I suppose I could go with some of my lad mates, but when their all wanting to pull some hot chicks, that leaves me in the rain will my wellys and umbrella, SO, if any girls wanna mucho down to the cornerhouse this Friday with me for some core drinking and brut dancing, then fire it up. Let me know.
Ive cut my fringe really short, dunno if I like it, Ive had it before and loved it but this time Im not so sure...
Gonna get some more tatts this week, POSSIBLY a fairy sat on a moon under my arm kind of thing, once thats done think Im gonna start on the elf theme on my back, its gonna be fucking mint, well over £300's worth is gonna be spent.
Right, as part of my life changing ambitions, Im gonna shed some pounds, but Im not gonna lie, this is gonna kill me. I WAS 9 stone for about a year, then, the other day I went on the scales and it proved that those ecconomy Leeds rat burgers had stuck to me, along with all the other saturated fat I consumed. So, Im gonna concoct a diet for myself, I don't know what, so if anyone has any ideas then shoot! Anyway, my aim is to get to about 8 stone in two months, starting from Sunday (coz Ive just bought loads of shit for my week off work.)
LEFTOVER CRACK ARE PLAYING THIS YEAR, SMASH-ME-OFF.
November -
14th - Manchester Satans Hollow
18th - Newcastle Archer
I think anyway.....
I god damn hope!
I need to do more stuff.
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[22 Aug 2005|08:17pm] |
I feel elated today! I have delibertly ostracised myself from livejournal coz I couldnt handle writing stuff down I was feeling or burden anyone els, coz I know people care about me, I have class friends, I love ys all the world XXX
Today I got a managers shirt and a badge that says 'assistant manager' on it and it made me feel good, we also got Karen back as our manager, so its now me Karen and Dave as managment and its gonna be fucking mint, (how many times did I use the word manager then :S)
Im going to the stead soon coz I got my noes done and it purely rejected it, this is the third time Ive had it done and its fucked up, but this time its harsh and it really hurts.
Im absoloutly extatic already for Leeds, I cant fucking wait, gonna be ultimate pure wreckage and equally important bandage going on. Pixies, Hatebreed, Incubus, Babyshambles, thats just off the top of my head. Its gonna be a mint crack.
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[17 Aug 2005|09:22pm] |
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I can't wait for Leeds, I just need a holiday, Im gonna go crackers sooner or later, the amount of time I spend thinking about death and suicide and stuff now, what it will be like when I'm recarnated, what will happen when I come back, I go into complete deep thought and scrutiny. I try to convince myself Im happy and compare myself to others more misfortunate than me, but, its so fucking hard, Ive been like this for about.............nearlly 7 years, its not like you can just wake up one morning and skip to work and forget everything bad and get on with life. I feel physically weak, feel like Im drifting away from everyone, I dont even have a really close best friend anymore, the lack of company disheartenes me thats why I love going out, but then the same thing happenes, just a repeate performance, I'll go home and completely fuck up and think about doing stuff, think about it so deeply and plan it all out, its so hard to live fucking hell. So yeah, Gemma's rolling back into her old ways.
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[08 Aug 2005|02:44pm] |
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Life is boring, same places, same people, everyones tied up, everyones busy, theres no inspiration or drive here anymore, noones making my eyes pop out, well someone did, but it appears they are just one of those sheep, monkey see monkey do, a member of the cattle. Mabey its me expecting to much, but how can life be so mediocre? I want to move away badly, seems to be a good idea aswell considering my Mams chucking me out, once again, mabey this is destiny shouting in my face. Things are definetly gonna change after Leeds fest.
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| He was a politic, I got down on my knees and sucked his dick |
[02 Aug 2005|08:58pm] |
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Hello friends, hello livey. Not much been going down in the life of Cans, Still hating the muslim fanatics, still being as angry and volitale as usual, still drinking at every opportunity Im given and still HATING work, desperatrly wanna quit and dole it, but I can't coz that would be stealing.
God tommorow off, going to a crime prevention meeting at Wilkinsons, Im nervous, gonna have a drink tommorow night, probably on my own, unless anyones doing owt and fancys a binge! Thursday Im off to Aruba which is sounding like a promising night, although its premature stages. I was over the moon when Lauren said we should get dressed up and make a night out of it and with the likes of King Reevo coming and Emma coming, along with others, it should be a repeat performance of last week! Well, hopefully.
Neeeeeeeed sex badly, Ive noticed since Ive come off the pill Ive been horny a hell of a lot more than usual, like, its really noticable to me and will happen at the wierdest times, like when Im watching corrie or stacking shelves at work, its fucking blinding BUT, I'll contain myself, nomore one night stands for Gem, for now anyway.
Peace out bitches.
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[24 Jul 2005|08:05pm] |
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Ive chosen not to write anything in here for a few days coz of the disturbing, destructive and depressive mood Ive been in coz of someone totally fucking with my head, so Ive been relying on the saying 'time is a healer' and it seems to be working a bit.
Anyway, I feel really accomplished today: Ive been looking for a different muzzle for Darcy for a fair few months now, the one she currently has is a plastic 'one size fits all' one but its horrible, she hates it, its efficient I'll give it that but it swamps her face and Im no expert but it can't be good for her breathing and she clearly isnt comftable with it on. Anyway, I found a site which is full of greyhound and whippet merchandice; muzzles, collars, coats, books, jewrely, bowls, the lot and its fucking superb, so Ive decided to treat her a bit. Ive ordered her a 'Wire racing muzzle' (which is what greyhounds wear when they actually race) its great coz its made of wire and it won't be as clostaphobic around her face even tho it goes over her head kind of thing, Ive been searching for one for ages so Im really chuffed Ive found one now. Ive also ordered her a black collar with some pink roses on it, a new coat with the England flag on it (exactly like the one of the mastercard advert) and also ordered the Charlie Lister book on greyhounds which Im excited about reading as it has everything you need to know on looking after and training greyhounds, which is what I want to do in the future, so Im rather happy about all that!
Tommorow Im gonna go down boro, have been wanting the Choking Victum album for ages now so Im definetly gonna get that, might buy a DVD and think I'll take a trip to Primark. Last night was pretty keen, went and met Shelly and that at The Starting Gate, went back to Maries with some budweiser and sang to Abba, went to leos, danced, socialised then saw BISH out which was surreal, was mint, hes probably one of the coolest people I know then we went back to a randoms party where there was a BOUNCY CASTLE, was grand. Lauren gave me a skirt the other day which is beautiful, I love it, thankyou very much chickie pie :) god I love my days off work, its the only time Im happy, yes work still smokes bone, Im currently looking for another job, theres loads going in the amusments but that would be really boring and, well to be honest I would rather do something more challanging.
As Ive said, I have felt incredibly down latley to the point I can't even eat but the only way is up so Im trying to pick myself up and get myself out and about, went to Aruba on Thursday which was really good, Im likeing it actually however what I am NOT likeing is the lack of people coming out now, Im not saying Im 'miss hardcore' or anything coz Im not but the number of people who come out has dwindled incredibly, I have a laugh when I go out yeah but it could be so much better if all my proper mates were out, theres only really Cooper now whos a regular. Well, that about sums up my weekly events, nothing AMAZING, Im actually looking forward to going to boro tommorow haha :) bye
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[20 Jul 2005|05:22pm] |
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Right Im proud Im British, Im proud of our goverment and yes Im patriotic but some things in this country are fucked up, for one, the human fucking rights law, its ridiculous, makes my blood boil. Because we have signed the stupid membership of the European Convention of human rights we are allowed to let fucking idiotic tossers like Omar Bakri in our country to BRAINWASH and preach hatred to young muslims. He justifies suicide bombings, justifies jihad or whatever its called (holy war) has admitted to hating the labour goverment and out country yet he still fucking lives here on state benefit!! Thats just the tip of the ice berg tho, this twat has raked in more than £275,000 in handouts, he gets EVERYTHING paid for, he lives in a £200,000 house, gets his £1,600 councle tax paid, claims £50 a week desability allounce coz he 'hurt his leg as a young boy and is unable to work' has a SPECIALLY MODIFIED people carrier worth £31,000 and gets his £300 a week income support. Its absoloutly discusting, makes me feel sick that this fat ugly cunt gets away with it but because weve signed this fucking law we can't send him back to his own country unless there is proof he won't be exacuted, this proves his own fucking country don't even want him! America wouldnt, neither would France but once again its good old Britain who will put him up. Anyway, today, his new logic is that it was the BRITISH PUBLICS fault for the AL-QAEDA bombings in London, I can't imagine how the familys of the victims must feel reading this I can't even get over it myself. A tape was also found of a recording of him preaching to his followers encourging them to 'sacrafice their lives' to turn Britain into an islamic state, LIKE FUCK, I would sacrifice MYSELF to stop this from happening! The fucking cheek of him, swanning over here, trying to dictate us, trying to corrupt our empire, he hasnt got a chance, If I got the chance I would seriously love to shoot him, I would be proud to shoot him its not something I would be ashamed to go to prison for. I earn about £12,000 a year, this bastard is £275,000, for doing what? INCITING HATERD. If a british citizen went and stood on a podium telling people to murder eachother and justified hate and corruption he would be fucking arrested and if there was proof he was behind killings he would be jailed!!! So why in god name is this fucking fat arab man still here walking our streets!!!??? Its so blaitent they might aswell have 'bomb making classes for beginiers' at local community centres! They get away with everything els! Thing is, this man is just one example of thousands who are coming into our country with the same excuse and same meaning of life, many of them being part of al-queda, this is just the fucking beginning of terrorism over here, if we don't rip up our human rights membership and start getting strikt on whos allowed in the country then were gonna have to prepare ourselevs for a bleak future of bombings are murders.
In other news....
Well, Im not pregnant haha, after being 10 weeks LATE I never thought Id be so happy to come on, so thats a huge wieght off the shoulders! Work is shit, thinking of leaving. Erm, thought I was going out with someone but once again I get stabbed in the back, I think its official, Im never gonna get into a serious relationship for one reason or the other, mabey because all I do is get used by lads minus 1 or 2? No but seriously, in all my teenage years Ive never ever been in a long term serious relationship, mabey Im just not very pretty, I always classed myself as very normal looking hence why Ive got alot of tattoos now and stuff, makes me look a bit better to look at, mabey its coz I can be a loud mouth sometimes and can be sometimes intimidating, or it could be my irritating paranoia, right Im just picking all the faults with myself now which isnt helping.
Got Darcy a new lead today, one of those ones that can stretch ded far so she can have a bit of a run, shes a beauty.
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[14 Jul 2005|05:23pm] |
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God, I wanna go out tonight, wanna drink and dance and pull and flirt and laugh, Lauren said she might, Garys trying to get people out but theres not alot of enthuaism from anyone els. Come out people away, Gemma always makes it a laugh.
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[11 Jul 2005|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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I miss my Dad so much, he came in my shop the other day and I couldnt stop giving him kisses! Hes such a dude, a legend.
Well, today my Mam spontaniously decided to go on holiday! Got up for work, went downstairs to find loads of suitcases, imagine if she was actually leaving me? for good, to build a new life in the lake district or somewhere close to her heart with the love of her life? haha I should be so lucky! haha naa im just kidding, its wierd being in on my own my brothers on holiday aswell BUT, I did something really cool today what Ive never done before, walked round the house naked. Well, Ive never had that experiance before! This was the perfect opportunity no family in, no expected visitors and it was nice and walm so I straightened my hair, ate my tea, watched big brother and went on the internet naked, was pretty surreal coz I never see myself fully naked coz my rooms so small and I cant see my whole self in the mirror, but yeah I liked it, gonna have to do it more often!
I wanna get drunk and get it on with this lad I like haha. Bye bye.
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[10 Jul 2005|04:20pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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Last night was pretty good, was good to see everyone again, highlight of the night - Chris wearing a really fucking disturbing mask, was hilarious, I was crying, it made me want to fight him, I don't know why, then the night got spoiled and I walked home.
Had a fucked up dream last night: Me and Beaky were shopping for clothes and I stole a top then somehow it ended up with me and Shiv fighting, really aggresivly and I had a bust noes and stuff and there was loads of blood and all over but she looked untouched! Crikey.
God its Leeds soon, Im not prepared at all, I need to share a tent with someone :( I don't wanna be on my own :(
Gonna get another tattoo soon, another fairy under my arm, its lovley, I took a shine to it instantly. Erm.......think thats it....bye
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carrabiancoral's journal